Dr. Crabby, my alter ego. |
1) We'll never be too old to pre-party in the parking lot.
2) We'll never be so rich that $16 dollar drinks don't seem like a total rip off.
3) I already knew I married a giant man-child, and had long given up the ghost of him "growing up," (which, though it often drives me insane, is part of why I love him - he prevents me from evolving entirely into the 98 year old woman I am at heart). But I think I am ready to stop waiting for the day when I am knighted as a real-life grown-up, when I officially "arrive" at adulthood. I'm starting to think this is an elusive and mythical destination. I, personally, have never had less of a clue what in the Sam Hill I was doing in my life. But you know what? That's okay. I'm learning to roll with it.
"You're in pretty good shape for the shape that you're in." |
Then I realized it was a window not a mirror.
"My hair looks awesome today! Oh, wait..." My tanner fitter doppelganger definitely thought I was a big weirdo. |
Hopefully this candy is not actually from 1975. |
Remember when they used to make candy in the shape of cigarettes? Can you imagine what internet moms would do if these were sold in candy shops today? The 21st century has zero chill ;)
Depends in my life. But anyway. Before I had my first child, a dear cousin-in-law told me to get Depends and wear them to the hospital, and post-delivery as well. She just said it was a lot more comfortable and less messy and saved you from ruining your underwear. So, I followed her direction. And I showed up to the hospital and they got me into a gown and the nurse said, "Okay, let's get you out of your underwear so we can check you." I replied, "I'm wearing Depends." And she responded something along the lines of, "What in the actual fuck?" Apparently this was not standard practice.
The End :)
"I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias." - Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
"I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be... This does not mean that I ought to be trapped or enclosed in any of these ages...the delayed adolescent, the childish adult, but that they are in me to be drawn on; to forget is a form of suicide... Far too many people misunderstand what *putting away childish things* means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup. When I'm with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grown-up, then I don't ever want to be one. Instead of which, if I can retain a child's awareness and joy, and *be* fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup." - Madeline L'Engle
"People never grow up. They just learn how to act in public." (Usually). - Bryan White
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