run, forrest, run

as you may know, we got a puppy a while back. for the first couple of weeks, she woke me up at o-dark-hundred and accompanied me on sunrise jogs around the neighborhood. i ran something like 12 out of 14 days, which is unheard of for present-day me. and i sort of loved it. i lost 5 pounds for the first time in forever. i even got some new shoes and running pants without holes in them. i was dangerously close to becoming one of those crazy people who willingly run on weekends, or on vacation.

i can think of worse ways to start the day

then something weird happened. feta, the puppy, decided she did not like to run anymore. or even walk. she started out a little squirrely - we live on a really busy road and i would have to carry her across the street, but once i set her down on the other side, she got going just fine. not so anymore. she loves running around on nearby trails, but i don't have time to put her in the car and drive to her desired destination every morning. and the neighborhood strolls are a total no-go.

so, we got a treadmill. ostensibly for ourselves. we've wanted one for a while because we are lazy f*cks and can't make it to the gym, like, ever.

also, it is generally frowned upon to leave your two- and four-year-olds at home alone while you run out and about with the wind in your hair. but, i figured maybe feta could benefit from the treadmill as well. my dad's dog uses one, so i know it can be done. but she's not havin' any part of that.

thus came the end of my illustrious two-week running career.

if there are any cesar Milan-type folks out there that have some pearls of wisdom to get my scaredy-dog either running out-of-doors, or on the treadmill, please do share. but that's not actually the main point of this post. my main point is that i used to be a runner. i did cross country in high school, and i ran consistently throughout college and law school. not super far or anything, but a couple of miles almost every day. i won't say i ever really loved it, but i didn't hate it, and it was a nice way to get outside, burn some calories, decompress, sort my thoughts, etc. my brief flirtation with running last month reminded me that it can be addictive, and almost fun.

meanwhile, one of my best friends has been on a boot camp/health kick lately and i keep seeing her insane/inspiring posts on facebook. (she lives far away otherwise i would enlist her help in kicking my butt in person.) anyway, she has this "Map My Run" app that seemed cool so i was like, "I'm gonna get that! Maybe that'll help motivate me even though my running partner ditched me." Well, let me tell you, it was not motivational. It was DE-motivational. My super sporty friend is already up to 5+ miles and I imagine if I could ever bring my aging bag of bones to achieve such a goal, i'd be pretty damn proud of myself. but that's not what happened. I ran, and thought to myself, "wow, that must have been like 2 or 3 miles!" and then my map looked like this:

oh well. this same friend is the one who coined the "No Shoulds" philosophy of life, so i'm not going to beat myself up too much about it. plus, it's almost time for new year's resolutions, which means at least 12 more days of exercise are in the not-too-distant future ;) back to your pumpkin pies, folks!



if you eat candy ON the treadmill, the calories don't count, right?