Ignorance Is Not Bliss

I've got a bone to pick. I keep seeing the same handful of "arguments" (which falsely implies some sort of logic) being hurled about the Interwebs lately (at me privately, on my blog, and repeatedly assaulting my eyeballs on my news feed). And I think they're a bunch of baloney.

First things first.

Credit: Notions Capital (Flickr Creative Commons)

1. Donald Trump and his latest blatantly racist douchebaggery chicanery.

Just no.

Remember how in my last post I was like, hey, let's practice tolerance, if you actually sit down and share a cocktail or a quesadilla with someone you'll find out they're human, just like you. Well. Let me tell you. I am having a REAL hard time practicing tolerance and understanding with this piece of ... work. And hey, if he was just some lone (crazy ass) ranger who was totally off the reservation, that would be one thing. But this PSYCHOTIC YAHOO is the front running republican candidate?!? I'm sorry but what in the fucking fuck, people?! I AM SO CONFUSED. Confused, and also, filled with an overwhelming urge to scream, cry, or bury my head in the sand. If I sat down across the table from Donald Trump I would have to try very, very hard not to throw my conciliatory community-building beer in his face. At first it was kind of amusing, like a sociological experiment. Then it became unbelievable. Then it became disturbing. Now? Now I am absolutely terrified. Please PLEASE tell me this is all just a terrible joke???

THIS GUY JUST HELD UP JAPANESE INTERNMENT CAMPS AS A POSITIVE EXEMPLAR FROM AMERICAN HISTORY. AND HE IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. The land of the free. A country of diversity and acceptance. A nation that was founded by immigrants. (Okay, well, more like stolen from its original, rightful owners by immigrants but you get my point). He thinks Islam has no place in America? No place in the 21st century? HE has no place in America in the 21st century. He is a fear-mongering bigot whose beliefs go against everything that American stands for.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breath free,*
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.**
Send these, the homeless, the tempest-tost to me,***
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

* Except Muslims.

** But actually, really really ridiculously rich Muslims are cool.

*** Excludes Syrians and other people who are browner than me, but ORANGE PEOPLE ARE WELCOME! Send me your overworked Oompa Loompas, I've got just the factory for them!

PS, If Dick Cheney's like, "Bruh, you went too far," you done CROSSED THE LINE.

2. The meaning of "well-regulated" in the Second Amendment (from my recent FB post):

An anonymous reader commented on my post about guns. I still can't get over the fact I have anonymous readers. DM doesn't really believe it, he thinks my post hits are all Ukrainian hacker bots. Anyway. S/he wrote this:

"Nice piece, but you might want to look up what "well regulated" means in the vernacular of the late 18th century, when the second amendment was written. It means "well equipped". :)"

This was my response:

"Thanks. Actually, according to the Supreme Court in DC v Heller (whose holding I vehemently disagree with but it is the supreme law of the land, after all ;)), per the vernacular, "well-regulated" means "the imposition of proper discipline and training," which sounds to me like a great place to start!

In any event, even without the qualifying clause, no individual rights granted by the Constitution (Bill of Rights) are without limitation. They are subject to a balancing act of the rights of the individual vs. legitimate government interest, e.g., the general welfare of its citizens."

In fact, the Court in Heller said that "the right secured by the Second Amendment is not unlimited," and pointed out that "the right was not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose."

Like I said, I'll talk about this stuff until my face turns blue!

3. "In 1789, Thomas Jefferson said 'Cross my heart, hope to die, the Federal Government will never steal your guns, pinkie swear, no take-backs.'"

You know what else our "Founding Fathers" said? That white people could OWN black people. That blacks had 3/5 the human worth of whites. That black people could not vote. They were not allowed in white schools, restaurants or places of business. Women could not vote and were considered chattel. Native Americans were systemically displaced and slaughtered. So, forgive me if I don't find this to be an ironclad argument. The Constitution is an amazing document and the backbone of American democracy, but it was written over 200 years ago and has to adapt as we learn and grow as a nation.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." - Maya Angelou

PS, You're not the only one who can quote the Founding Fathers in support of your argument. They also said that gun owners should be subject to discipline and training, as noted above.

PPS, See also, section 2.b re: no individual rights being absolute, including but not limited to, the right to keep and bear arms.

PPPS, How do you know the framers weren't talking about THIS?

4. This meme has come across my news feed no less than five times in the past week. There's so much wrong with this analogy, I don't even know where to start. 

I guess my main issue is this: No one is saying "make guns illegal," are they? I know I'm not. I mean, we can't even vote to keep guns out of the hands of suspected terrorists, so I don't think rounding up all the guns in the country and throwing them in the ocean is on the agenda. All people are saying is "make guns harder for baddies to get," and also maybe "you don't need a grenade launcher and a high powered assault rifle for 'self defense?'" If I were in charge I would also say we must take further steps to ensure that all the "good guys with guns" know how to safely maintain, store, and operate them. Is this really so unreasonable?

In any event, as I said in my last post on the subject, laws against drunk driving and prescription drug abuse don't completely eradicate those behaviors, either, but its a place to start. (And hey if you're arguing for a cease-fire in The War on Drugs, I'm all about that conversation.)

5. "Thank God I don't live in crazy Commie California!" Amen to that.

6. "I still don't believe Muslims are generally good people."

I'll ask you again: Do you actually know any Muslims? That's what I thought. Go befriend an actual, real-life Muslim, then get back to me.

If you still feel that way after you actually know a person from the faith about which you so freely cast aspersions, watch this:



Here are the Clif Notes: Yes, some countries that are predominantly Muslim (e.g. Saudia Arabia) have some messed up laws. Some countries that are predominantly Christian (e.g. Ethiopia) have some messed up laws. Balancing human rights and multiculturalism is a messy thing and (much) more work needs to be done. And yes some terrorist organizations have bastardized the religion for their terrorist purposes which I've already said is not a trait unique to Islam. But that is on the country and the organization and the individuals who carry out these acts, not on the religion itself.

"Islam doesn't promote violence or peace. Islam is just a religion, and like every religion in the world, it depends on what you bring to it. If you're a violent person, your Islam, your Judaism, your Christianity, your Hinduism is going to be violent. There are marauding Buddhist monks in Myanmar slaughtering women and children. Does Buddhism promote violence? Of course not. People are violent or peaceful. And that depends on their politics, their social world, the way they see their communities, the way they see themselves." - Reza Aslan

6. "No Christians have done anything bad in the name of Christianity since the Crusades." Wrong again.

The KKK.

Neo Nazis, skinheads and other non-Muslim extremists.

FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).

Now, I assume members of mainstream Christianity would decry, "But those aren't Christians!"

And now you know how Muslims feel.

That is all. I swear I have some non-political posts for you. I just need to get to a place where my fingertips aren't autonomously driven by a blind and fiery rage.

Unless I get picked up by the US Government for my search history: guns, terrorist, Muslim, Christian, KKK, neo-Nazi, skinhead, child marriage. Don't worry though, I'll still be able to get a gun!

Until then:

On the subject of religious bias, watch this video, I implore you.

The Paradox of Tolerance: Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them. 

- Karl Popper, Open Society and its Enemies, Vol. 1

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak for me.

- Martin Niemöller

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

- Edmund Burke

don't be a dick

I. Can't. Breathe. My chest is in a vice, the air is being sucked from my lungs. My heart feels like it is on fire, my blood like hot, volcanic lava pumping through my veins. The heat rises from my gut, up, up, up, like a cup filling with boiling hot water. My skin hurts. It feels as though its been scrubbed to bleeding with steel wool. As I'm reading stories on the internet, as I listen to the news in my car, this is how I feel. I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears, and it's almost, almost, loud enough to drown out my frenetic thoughts, but not quite. Is this normal? To feel so affected by the ills of our society? To physically manifest the pain of the world in my own body? It should be. Maybe then people would wake the fuck up and realize that this planet is in desperate, aching need of something other than intransigent demagoguery.

This is not really a new thing for me. It's part of why I started blogging. I just have so many feelings and it's like they're trying to crawl out of my skin and bones and blogging is a sort of blood-letting that way. DM always pokes fun of me, says I'm dramatic and doomsday (though, may I point out, he is the one who has always wanted a bomb shelter in our backyard in case of apocalypse). I don't sleep at night because I worry about the drought and oil spills and white rhinos and rising sea levels and the PPM of PM10 in the air and sulfates and parabens and nitrites and hormone disrupting chemicals, and so on and so forth ad infinitum.

But in times like these when it feels like we're all going to hell in a hand-basket, like, tomorrow, multiply all that by 347,000.

It's funny (funny-interesting, not ha-ha-funny). A few weeks ago my two BFFs were in town and we were up late having a deep and meaningful conversation and Betsy said she was afraid of ISIS. (This was before Paris, and San Bernardino.) Claire, DM and I started laughing and gave her shit. "That's so silly! You should not be afraid of ISIS! That's not a real thing to be afraid of in California." Little did we know.

Still though. I'm not really that worried about ISIS affecting me personally. Okay, I'm totally lying. The day after the Paris attacks I was home alone with the kids and the power went out and I texted DM, "Am I crazy for thinking this is the precursor to an ISIS attack?" His answer: "Yes."

So, alright, I'm a little scared of ISIS. But I am way more likely to die of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, the flu, a car crash, a drug overdose, an accidental shooting, or an intentional shooting by a non-Muslim extremist than to be killed by ISIS. Fun fact: for every American killed by terrorism in the past decade, more than 1,000 were killed by gun violence in the United States. So, yes. ISIS and guns. Also global warming. And sharks. Super scary.

But. Want to know what I'm REALLY scared of? Us. America. Americans.

A couple of days after the Paris attacks, I was crossing the street behind a group of giggling high school girls when this guy snarls "GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM, TERRORISTS!" and SPITS on one of the two girls in the group who were wearing hijab. He SPIT. IN. HER. FACE. I was in SHOCK. The shock quickly gave way to a burning flood of rage. I honestly cannot remember the last time I was so angry. I am literally shaking as I type this, thinking of it again. HULK SMASH.

Unfortunately Hulk wasn't so quick on the draw. I eloquently yelled after him, "FUCK YOU, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT!" In the moment, I wanted to throw my coffee on the guy, but I fumbled with the lid and by the time I got it off, he was already across the street. Which is probably good. Fighting assault with assault is not the answer. What I should have done was taken his picture and blasted it out on social media. Next time.

The group of girls congregated on the corner, expressing disbelief more than anything else. The girl who was spit on and the other girl in hijab didn't even seem that upset or surprised. As I approached, I didn't even know what to say. All I could do was say "I'm so sorry." She shrugged. All I had to offer was a pathetic apology and a crumpled napkin. (Which, incidentally, is kind of an apt metaphor for America's response to gun violence.)

I was SO ANGRY, FAM. I texted DM as I walked back to my office, but warned, "Don't call me or I will start crying." I CANNOT FATHOM being the target of such baseless hostility. There are few actions that are so viscerally emblematic of hatred and disrespect as SPITTING your bodily fluids in someone's FACE. For what? Because of the way they dress, their name, their faith, their sexual orientation*, the color of their skin? I just can't even wrap my mind around it.

Hatred. Ignorance. Unfounded assumption. This girl. These two girls, actually. The targets of indefensible ill will. They couldn't have been more than 16 years old. They were walking back from lunch with their friends. They were laughing and talking and being high school girls. Maybe they were immigrants but they were more than likely American citizens. And yet this dick whistle without two brain cells to rub together literally spewed hate at two children because of the way they looked and what that meant to him in his tiny mind.

Why isn't anyone out there spitting on crazy old right wing extremists with mangy beards, or 20-something white dudes with bad hair and sociopathic stares?

Let's talk about San Bernardino. This Syed Rizwan Farook. He was an American. He prayed to his God in his country of birth because that was his right as an American citizen. He traveled to another country and he married an immigrant because that was his right as an American citizen. Somewhere along the line, for reasons we will probably never understand, their belief system was twisted and perverted into a theology of anger, hatred and intolerance. (Or so we assume, though really we don't know the whole story and we probably never will. Did you read about how he shot a woman from his own congregation, point blank?)

Here's the thing. Muslims do not have a monopoly on the perversion of faith. Any brand of religious fanaticism can become lethal when combined with the right amount of deluded fury, psychosis, and fire power. But we don't call it terrorism when white Christians kill people. And yet. There you are on Twitter, Facebook and the like, veins popping, spittle flying, screeching "Down with Islam!" Because a fraction of the Earth's psychopaths misguidedly claim Islam as their motivation, 1.6 billion peaceful, innocent believers are guilty by association. Even (or especially) when this purportedly Muslim whack-job is one of our very own. What I want to know is, where are the "Christian Killer" headlines? Where was the blaming and shaming of 2.2 billion non-radical Christians after the killings at an AME church, a Jewish Community Center, a Sikh temple? Do we scream DOWN WITH JESUS because of the KKK?

What would this eradication of Islam look like, by the way? Round up ... who? All Americans who believe in Islam? What if they're white? Still guilty? And what about Christians of Middle Eastern descent? Are they cool? Or should we boot them too because they're brown? Oh, the WIFE was a Muslim immigrant who, apparently, avowed her support for ISIS. So, should we get rid of everyone married to an immigrant too, just to be safe? And we'd put them where exactly? Some sort of... camp or something? Hmmm... this is sounding awfully familiar. You know where I'm going with this, right? Or do you need me to spell it out for you? You sound like fucking Hitler.

If you really want to start rounding up atrocious examples of humanity, maybe you should start with young white American dudes wearing ratty baseball caps and Aero Postale t-shirts one size too small whose mommies never taught them it's not okay to spit on other human beings.

This is what I want to ask the people who are saying these things: Do you actually know any Muslims? (American, Immigrant, or otherwise). Of course you don't! But if you did, could you stand across from them, the men, the women, the children who are not so different from you, could you look them in the eye and tell them you believe your life, your rights, your very existence is worth more than theirs simply because they believe in a different God than you? Do it. I DARE YOU.

It all boils down to this: Human connection. It's easy to hide inside the Internet, to spew nastiness from your screen without ever feeling or understanding the ripple effect your ignorance and intolerance have in the real world. (Although, apparently, some very special assholes can do it straight to your face.)

For someone who isn't a huge fan of people, I know a lot of different kinds of humans. If most of them just emailed me their life's resume, I might assume we wouldn't get along. Here's a non-exhaustive list:

Republicans. Lots of them. And you know what? They're actually not so bad ;)

Wild conspiracy theory tin-hat-type folks.

Super duper Christiany folks. I mean, these are actually my people - the stock from which I hale. But seriously, some of the stuff they say? Whooee boy. If I read it from a stranger I would assume they were legit straight-jacket crazy. Even knowing I'm related to these people, it still sometimes makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball. (And I'm sure they feel the same way about me and my beliefs.)

Mean girls.

A real, honest to goodness internet troll. I mean, he is honestly sort of a terrible human, but he's totally nice to me. A little too nice, actually. More on that another day.

Guys who wear ratty baseball caps and too-tight Aero Postale shirts.

Convicted felons.

Registered sex offenders.

People who most pictures of mangled fetuses online and call women who've had abortions murderers.

Straight up racists.

Alcoholics.

One pathological liar.

Cheaters.

Thieves.

Drug dealers.

A dude who used to run a dog-fighting ring.

Douche bonnets galore. (As DM and I like to say, "You're an asshole. But you're my kind of asshole.")

And you want to know something? I could sit down and have a beer and a civil conversation with each and every one of these people. (Well, okay, I should probably not have a beer with the alcoholics or the parolees. Also I don't like beer. Maybe just some coffee. Or caramels ;))

The best thing about actual, real-life, human connection? It works both ways. Some examples:

When I was dating my Iranian American husband, whose father, brother, and countless relatives are doctors, a couple of great-aunts were telling me that all Persian men, and ESPECIALLY Persian doctors, were lecherous, cheating creeps. They based this off this one Persian doctor they once knew. However, when they actually met my husband and his family, those (mostly ;)) unfounded preconceptions were shattered. Nobody is immune to the charms of Daddy Mack ;)

DM works for a well-known civil rights organization that some of my right-wing family think is the actual antichrist, blaspheming God and fomenting a Communist revolution. They were shocked to discover that he is actually a totally reasonable and immensely likeable dude.

My Iranian immigrant in-laws had their preconceived notions about Midwestern Evangelicals as well. But when you sit down and share a meal with someone, you are forced to find common ground. And as I've said before, my old school Muslim Persian in-laws and my old school Christian Midwestern relatives have a lot more in common than you might think. They can be culturally insensitive and try to make me eat meat in peace and harmony :)

My brother came out of the closet to a family that openly declares homosexuality is a sin, an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. But they once felt the same way about cards, nylons, movies,  cigarettes, alcohol, divorce, "illegitimate" children, interracial marriage, Mormons, Catholics, Jews (don't even get them STARTED on Muslims), people from I-Ran, ear-piercing, and rock-n-roll. It's easy to disavow something when that something has never touched your life. But when the subject of your prejudice has a face and a name, when they're sitting across from you holding your hand, when they're speaking softly and reasonably, even when you disagree, that hatred is a lot harder to muster. You'll start to question everything you thought you knew.

I truly believe exposure therapy is the answer. Try it. Your first session is free.

WHOEVER WROTE THIS NEEDS A MUSLIM HUG IMMEDIATELY

 * I was reminded, then, that this happened to my baby brother recently. Some douche canoe called him a faggot and spat on him in the street. In San Francisco! Hello! Are you by chance aware of your geographic location, sir? You're in our house now, biatch. By the way, this also happened in a crosswalk. Take-home lesson: Beware of crosswalks, bigot-breeding-grounds.